No Habla Ingles

I had other things I was going to write about today, but they're going to have to take a backseat tonight, because today I went to Shanghai.

Saturday, August 15

7:00am- Alarm goes off. Groan. I only went to bed a few hours ago. Too much Chinese beer. (contrary to my father's beliefs, I'm not becoming an alcoholic. But there just isn't much else to do when you live on Bar Street.)

7:30am- Wake up Garrett, who lives next door. Time for Shanghai. He tells me he had been hoping that I would sleep through the alarm, so that we can skip our trip. I laugh, because he was out even later than me.

8:00am- Garrett and I drag ourselves outside and into a taxi, making our way in early morning Suzhou traffic to the train station.

8:07am- Taxi comes within inches to plowing head-first into a cement roller.

8:25am- Arrive at train station. We had purchased our tickets in advance with the help of our hotel owner, but we still have no idea where to go. We follow the masses of people into a waiting room.

8:26am- I am the only white person (as Garrett is of Chinese decent).

8:55am- The train boards. Lots of Chinese people shoving. Garrett and I bought tickets too late to get seats, so we have to stand. So we sit on the floor of the dining car.

9:15am- A train employee gets mad at Garrett for sleeping on the floor.

9:45am- Arrive in Shanghai. More Chinese people than I've seen in my entire life. We search for Garrett's cousin Chris, who lives in Shanghai. It's kind of like playing 'Where's Waldo' except that Waldo isn't wear red and white stripes, and looks exactly like everyone else.

10:15am- We find Chris.

10:30am-McDonald's for breakfast. There is a Chinese Ronald McDonald. The staff is super concerned about my comfort, pushing people out of the way to get me a good spot in line. They also try to carry my tray to a table for me. Ronald is creeping me out.

11:00am- Chris and Garrett want to go back to sleep. So I tell them to drop me off somewhere fun. They take me to a shopping mall.

11:30am- I wander around the neighborhood. I get a call from Chelsea, a friend of an old friend who has lived in Shanghai for more than a year, and has been super helpful. She invites me to lunch with her and her roommate. I wander around some more.

12:30pm- I arrive at Chelsea's apartment, very impressed with myself, because I was able to tell the driver the address Chelsea had given me without having to show it to him. I come to the realization that from now on, zh will be pronounced j, and x will be s. I am saddened by this.

1:00pm- Chelsea and her roommate take me to a vegetarian Chinese restaurant that was very good. I am impressed with myself for liking a vegetarian restaurant. Even more impressed that there is literally nothing on the menu that I don't like. The only vegetable I can definitively say I dislike is bitter melon, but I'd still eat it anyway.

2:00pm- I bid adieu to the ladies, who have directed me to People's Square, the main tourist center in Puxi Shanghai.

2:05pm- I've found my way into a park. There are literally hundreds of 65+ Chinese people milling about with signs. Fortunately, Chelsea had mentioned this phenomena to me, so I knew what I was looking at. It's a meet-market. Older Chinese parents who still have unmarried children write up profiles of their kids, and put them out, so other parents can try to find a match. They're mostly for men, as there are 109 men to every 100 women here, due of course to the one-child policy. It may not seem like a high ratio, but when you multiply it by a billion, it really is!

And no, I didn't pick one out for myself.

3:00pm- I wander around drinking bubble tea. I throw it out after 3 sips.

3:05pm- Chinese people shout "Hello!" to me a lot. All westerners get it. The annoying ones are those who want to practice their English on you. Not a bad thing, but it can often lead to a scam.

3:20pm- A Chinese man and women in their mid-twenties follow me and keep asking me if I speak English. I ignore them until they tap me on the shoulder. "Do you speak English?" they ask.

3:21pm- I give them a blank stare. "Que?" I ask.

Them: Do you speak Spanish?

Me: Si. Habla Espanol.

Them: Hola!

Me: Ni hao!

Them: Where are you from?

Me: ?

Them: Barcelona? Spain?

Me: Oh! No. Soy de Mexico.

Them: Mexico! Mexico city?

Me: Eh, asi-asi. (Yes, I know this is incorrect).

Them: Are you here for holiday?

Me: ?

Them: Hol-i-day? We are from Tsing Tao. Visit Shanghai.

Me: Ah, si. Hol-i-day, si.

Them: How many days? We are here for 7.

Me: Cinco.

Them: Cinco?

Me: Wu. Five.

This goes on for a while. They start talking about some show in the park, and how it's happening in the afternoon, or something. To be honest I didn't understand what they were saying, as they thought they were speaking to someone who had no idea, so it was kind of a mix of English and Chinese. I just stared blankly and smiled, which seemed to be appropriate.

Them: Do you want to spend the day with us?

Me: Que?

Them: With us. Together.

Me: No (I look at my watch). Mi amigo! Friend!

Them: Oh, ok. Adios!

Me: Nice. To. Meet. You.

There was just something about having Chinese people try to dumb down their English to make me understand that made me really happy, despite the fact that these people seemed nice, and I probably would have like to tour with them a bit. But I couldn't keep up the Spanish act all day.

3:30pm- More shopping malls. SO. MANY CHINESE PEOPLE.

3:31pm- My feet hurt. And no, I do not want to buy a stuffed Haibao, the blue Gumbly-looking mascot of the Shanghai Expo 2010. Stop asking.

4:00pm- I am officially tired of walking around. I am supposed to meet up with Garrett and Chris for the evening. I am too tired to move. I decide I will forgo the 30 kuai I spent on my return ticket for Sunday and try to catch a train home this evening.

4:10pm- On the way to find a taxi, I come across a foot massage shop. That is exactly what I need. Plus they speak English.

4:15pm- Best. Idea. Ever. I practice my Chinese on the man rubbing my feet. Then we exhaust my limited vocabulary. There are only so many times I can ask him what his name is before it gets weird. So we fall into an awkward silence. I stare at the wall because it seems too personal to watch him rub my feet.

5:15pm. I try in vain to hail a cab.

5:45pm. I find one! But it dawns on me that, for the first time ever, I don't have a taxi card to tell the driver where to go. I use my little Chinese book to come up with the term for railway station. I butcher it, but he understands. He starts to ask me a lot of questions. Have I eaten today? I know this is a common greeting, but I can't remember how to answer it, so I say "I don't understand" in Chinese several times, but he does not give up. Finally I say, "Wo bu hui Zhongwen!" (I don't speak Chinese) forcefully enough that he gets it.

6:00pm I enter the ticket station. The time tables are 100% in Chinese. I find the one English line. Train is at 6:55! Score!

6:15pm. I go to Burger King for dinner. I am not proud of the fact that I ate two fast food burgers in one day, but sometimes these things cannot be helped.

6:35pm. I join at least 500 Chinese people in the waiting room for the Suzhou train. I have to pee. The bathroom is also the smokers room. I decided to pass on that opportunity.

I am the only white person. Talk about Where's Waldo.

6:50pm. Gates open to the platform. 500 Chinese people push. And push. And push. To get to their assigned seats. Train is not as crowded as the morning one- I even have a seat, and I purchased my ticket less than an hour in advance.

7:00pm. I pull out my hamburger. I confirm the stereotypical belief that the Chinese have- that Americans only eat hamburgers. I don't care. One can only eat so many dumplings.

7:15pm. Train reaches a speed of 204 km/hr. I believe this to be fast.

7:35pm. Arrive in Suzhou. Home sweet home.

As so here I am. I haven't told anyone, besides Garrett, that I decided to come home, because I need a nice, relaxing night alone. I really enjoyed Shanghai- the food is great, the people are friendly, there is a lot more English spoken, and there is a lot to do. But going there, even for a few hours, made me realize how comfortable I am in Suzhou. After a day of navigating mainly by myself, it was nice to get into the taxi back to the hotel and recognize things as we passed. I wouldn't turn down a great job in Shanghai, but I think I'll stick with Suzhou for the year, if possible :)

Pictures and more updates tomorrow or Monday, I promise.

Hugs,

RDG

I taught your Chinese in the blog entry. Don't get selfish.

It had to happen eventually...

Yes, I think it has happened. The food has finally done a number on me. That, combined with about a quarter-bottle of tequila and some beer, has confined me to my room for the day.

Nothing worse than waking up with a terrible stomach ache (ok, and hangover), and realizing food/water/humanity is just right around the corner, but you have to go through steamy, thick and toxic humidity to get it. And an even worse realization that if Chinese food is the last thing you want, your only options for Western food are more than a 45 minute walk away. If there was ever a time for me to know how to say McDonalds in Chinese, today was it.

But I dragged myself out of the dark den of my hotel room when the hotel owner offered to help me buy a cell phone. That's right, I am now the proud owner of a Chinese cell phone. The Chinese are really in to texting, so when I activated my phone, I had 8 text messages waiting for me from China Mobile, all in characters, which I have no chance in hell of ever reading. And apparently, the company likes to text news and weather daily, so I have that to look forward to.

Also funny to note: Some phone numbers cost a lot more than others. The Chinese are super into numbers being good or bad. 6 8 and 9 are very lucky, so phone numbers with those digits are really expensive. 4, 7, 13 and 14 are unlucky. The last four digits of my cell phone number are 7413. So very unlucky, I guess. But cheap.

Since the majority of people I know in Suzhou live in the same hallway as me, I haven't needed a cell phone. But I've started to apply for jobs, so it's important to be reachable.

Oh, and the best part of the whole thing? With the purchase of my phone, I was given a 24 pack of Coke, a Raid plug-in bug killer, and 2 bottles of body wash. Not like any American phone promotion I've ever seen!

I ran into the guys on the street after buying my phone, soda in hand, and decided to join them for a late lunch at Papa John's. The walk nearly killed me- alternating between mind-bending heat and humidity, and a sudden complete downpour. The pizza was worth the walk and the price, but we decided a taxi back wouldn't be so bad.

I promptly fell asleep for 3 hours, and when I awoke, I determined I must indeed have some sort of bug. So here I am, sitting in my dark cave at 9pm on a Saturday night, watching Futurama on my computer. I'm going to venture out shortly to the little market down the street for some Gatorade.

But I'm happy :)

Edit- So I wrote that first part of the blog yesterday (Saturday), but decided to wait until today to post it. Not that I have much more to add, only that I'm feeling a bit better. Last night Lindsay, Justin and I attempted to have a conference call on Skype between the US, China and Africa- it pretty much failed, but it was cool for the few seconds that it worked :)

The rest of today will be spent reading and doing homework. I have my first full 90-minute class to teach tomorrow, and since I tend to talk quickly, I need to come up with enough things to fill the time. My lesson plans always go quicker than they should.

And for those select few of you who care, my Kindle is working great- I love it. I checked out the English bookstore in Suzhou, and it had a few classics, but they were super expensive, and nothing caught my eye. So I've been reading a lot on my Kindle- I highly recommend "And Then We Came to the End"- it was hilarious and is perfect for anyone who has ever worked in an office.

And that's it for me. If you're so inclined, I'll include my Chinese cell number below. Alisa and I tested it, and it appears I can make and receive texts to the US. Not sure how much they cost though...

Rachel's cell: 011 86 159 06207413

Oh, and I finally put up pictures. Find them here.

China 1

Others are available on Facebook.

Love and kisses,

RDG

Your Chinese for the day:

Bie fang ni jiao zai zhuozi shang ba- Please don't put your feet up on the table

Things I have learned my first week in China

Ni hao.

Sorry it has taken me so long to post. I've been really busy with school, and by the time I'm done with my homework and catching up with people via Skype, gmail, etc., I'm just too exhausted. Plus, there are so many things to say, all the thoughts get jumbled up in my mind. I've only been here a week and a half, but it feels like forever. It's certainly not a vacation- the weather is bad, I'm working all the time, and every single thing is a huge struggle. I knew not going Mandarin would be hard, but never to this extent. People just don't speak English in Suzhou. Crossing the street is dangerous. It's hot. But I'm really enjoying myself. I like the struggle, and the prospect of learning Chinese. Every day is something new- like tonight I had crayfish for dinner. And I'm not talking like I had a little taste and choked it down.I mean, I cracked those suckers open and sucked their tails! Big deal for someone who hates seafood. Only negative is that, despite the fact that they gave us gloves to wear, I can't seem to wash the smell out of my fingers.

Because there is so much to say, I've compiled a list of things I've learned so far in China. Many more to come, I'm sure.

1. Beef dumplings do not make for a lightly filling breakfast. In fact, it is a good way to feel terrible the rest of the day.

2. Taxi drivers will kick you out of a cab because you need to show them your destination on a map, and they don't have their glasses. While driving. At night.

3. When you do eventually find a taxi driver with decent eye-sight, getting in his cab and showing him the address of your destination does not mean he won't drop you off on the side of the highway over a mile away.

4. You haven't fully lived until you've heard drunk Chinese sing Lady Gaga into the microphone.

5. Scotch and green tea make an excellent mixed drink, and make it easier to enjoy number 4, and to fall victim to number 6.

6. Not waiting for the ATM to return your bank card after withdrawing cash at 4am and then not noticing for 2 days will result in being poor in a foreign country.

7. Before some of you freak out, number 6 is currently being resolved.

8. It is not as difficult as I thought it would be to find really good Mexican food in Suzhou.

9. Eel isn't so bad.

10. Clothing for little kids comes without a crotch, so they can do their business whenever, where ever. Or they just don't wear anything on their bottoms.

11. Getting my laundry done cost more than 2 round-trip express train tickets to Shangahi. And I washed my underwear myself.

12. Don't wash your underwear in the sink yourself. Nothing ever dries here. Ever.

13. I NEED TO LEARN MANDARIN.

14. Hearing Chinese tour guides talk in German is a bit mind-altering.

15. There is no more dangerous job in this world than Chinese crossing guard.

16. Getting a blister between your toes is as unpleasant as it sounds.

17. The average English tutor makes 8x as much as the average Chinese tutor. Every English speaker should move out here immediately.

18. Deep fried corn is wonderful for the first 15 minutes. Then not so much.

19. The concept of Face seems simple enough, but is far more complicated to navigate than I had anticipated.

20. Suzhou has 5 million people. They want to increase the population to 20 million in the next several years. I will be looooooooooong gone before then.

21. The most amazing place I've ever seen is the Chinese supermarket. Imagine Super Walmart, but with 100 million more people. And live turtles. Pictures to come when I pull my jaw off the floor and return on Friday.

22. Papa John's, McDonalds and Mr. Softee never tasted as good as they do in China. One can only eat but so much rice.

23. I can count in Chinese!

24. Diet coke tastes like regular coke, and regular coke tastes like Slurpee syrup.

25. I can't think of anymore because everytime I type I get a whiff of my crayfish hands, and I need to go wash them again for the 20th time this evening.

I am going to upload photos very shorts, and will post the link once I put them online. Will keep you updated.

And thank you for the comments/emails! Always a pleasure to wake up to :)

Miss and love you all!

RDG

Your Chinese for the day: Mafan nin fangxia canzhuo?

May I trouble you to pull down the tray table?

Dumplings, Horns and Banned Blogs, oh my!

Hello my friends,

I have, through many back channels, figured out a way to access my blog here in China. I have so many things to talk about, but as I don't want to go on and on, I'll try to limit myself as much as possible without making it sounds like a guide book.

The trip over was easy enough, although close to 16 hours in the air, and I only slept the length of one Renee Zelweiger movie. My peanut butter was confiscated at DCA, which was the worst thing to happen on the trip, so I suppose I should count my blessings.

Suzhou, the city I'm taking my TEFL classes in, is a pretty cool place. It's about 40 minutes outside of Shanghai, and has a fairly small but active expat population. My hotel is in the old city center, which is pretty cute, with canals and little shops and bars, but most foreigners live in the newer, more industrial areas. I haven't been able to venture out to those parts yet, but I will.

The hotel is cool as well. I'll post some pictures of my fancy little room. It has great internet and a good AC. Oh, and a toilet. It doesn't have any dressers, which makes it hard to keep clean, considering I have a year's worth of stuff just sitting around. It also has only one window, which is in the bathroom, so it is quite dark, but I like it. Chinese beds are about equivalent to sleeping on the floor, but I'm getting used to it. The hotel owner speaks English, so that's very helpful.

Today was my third day of school, and so far I'm enjoying it. There are 10 people in my class from a variety of ages and backgrounds. There is only one other girl- and she's the only Western woman I've seen who is not part of a tour group. Dropping everything and heading to China seems to be more of a male thing- but I'll represent the other half. I've become friends with the three other people in the class who are close to my age- we all happen to be staying in the same hotel, so that works out well. We almost always have all our meals together, and one of the guys speaks Chinese fairly well, so he does the ordering. I don't know how I'll survive on my own...

I am desperate to learn more Mandarin. Right now I'm really only comfortable saying "Hello", "Thank You" and "I don't want, thanks". Not quite enough to get by. But in addition to my TEFL course, I'm taking a Mandarin/Chinese culture class every day, so I'm hopeful it will help.

Ah yes, back to school. The classes are fairly straightforward, and they seem to practice what they preach, in that we're encouraged to have lots of different little games and activities rather than lecture our students, and so that is how they teach us. Makes a relatively short day (10:30-4:30 with 1-1.5 hours for lunch plus 1 hour of Chinese in the am or pm), go even quicker. I am one of the lucky few who has to begin student teaching on Friday, but I think they'll go easy on me because I'm going first. I've been working on my lesson plan.

The food here is excellent. The best breakfast is baozi, which are little doughballs filled with meat or veggies. I don't eat them often because they are too filling before school. Most meals are family style, which is nice because you get to try a lot of different things. The pork seems the be the best option, as well as noodles. I have tried EVERY SINGLE THING put in front of me. It's considered rude not to try, plus I'm curious. Food is incredibly cheap- ranging from 10-70 rmb a person (that's about $1.50-10.00), generally on the lower end. The most expensive thing by far is alcohol, although just by comparison. For example, yesterday was my friend's birthday, so we went to a bar that does all-you-can drink beer for 80 RMB, which is like $11.70. And it was good, expensive beer. By American standards, amazing, but that's several dinners just in beer. But aside from my hotel room, I've spent less than $75 in the 5 days I've been here. It's probably even much less than that.

Traffic is nuts here. Everyone is addicted to their horns. There are no rules of the road, except for drive as fast as you can where ever there is an opening on the road, honk at anything near you, and don't stop if you hit pedestrians. Crossing the street is such a challenge I refused my first two days here. I just kept turning left, until it was time to turn around and walk back. I take the bus to class, which is an experience, but costs like $0.14, so I can't complain. I met some Americans last night who have been in Suzhou for about 5 years, and they all advised us to buy electric bikes as soon as we make our decision as to where we are going to live. If I stay in Suzhou I might, because many of the roads are designed with special bike lanes, which makes driving a bit safer. I wouldn't risk it in Shanghai. But that's neither here nor there.

So as usual, my "short" blog post has gotten incredibly long. I'm going to spend the weekend going around Suzhou and taking pictures (I've been so overwhelmed I have only taken like 2), so I'll post some more this weekend. But I am happy and healthy and surviving the culture shock.

Miss you all!!

Your Chinese for the day:

Qing qudiao tou ma?- Please can you take the head off?

Welcome

I've never had a blog before. But rather than inundating your inbox with my stories, I thought it would be best to post on here, so you can read up at your convenience.

People keep asking me the same questions, so I'll just go ahead and answer them on here. That way, I won't have to answer "Because I've always been a fan of communism, and wanted to see it for myself" when someone asks me why I'm going.

Q: Why the hell are you going?

A: Unhappy at the prospect of being confined to my desk for the next 42 years of my life, I evaluated what I wanted: A) Go back into the field of education, B) Travel, C) Grow up. And always one to take the easy way, I decided to do all three at once, and head to China to teach English for the year.

Q: So why China?

A: I don't have a good answer. South American didn't interest me, Brits are always the first choice for EU countries and Jewish girls don't often opt for the Middle East. So that left Asia. Thailand is too rural, Japan is over-saturated with teachers, S. Korea is strongly anti-Western at the moment. So China it is.

Q: When do you leave?

A: Friday, July 24. I will arrive in Shanghai on Saturday, July 25.

Q: How will you keep in touch?

A: This blog. Email (rgold300@gmail.com). Skype (rgold300). Cell phone (to be determined). Internet is apparently kind of iffy in China, so hopefully one of these will work.

Q: What will you be doing?

A: First, I'll be in school, getting a certification in TEFL (teaching English as a foreign language). The school, Boland (www.boland-china.com) is located in Suzhou, just outside of Shanghai. After the 5 week course, I'll go on interviews and get a job teaching yet. I have not decided yet if I want to teach at a school or a language-education center, and which age I want to teach. Nor have I decided if I want to stay and work in Suzhou, or move to Shanghai. All will be determined in time.

And that is all I can think of. Plus, I'm boring myself by writing it, so if you even made it this far down in the post, congratulations, you must really love me!

I'll do my best to update periodically. But send me emails, I love emails! And cheesy e-cards. Those are the best.

I won't update again until I arrive in China. Goodbye my friends!

RDG

Note: This first post is dedicated to Ian 'Knowledgeable' Shevill, who's sense of adventure has been, and will continue to be, a source of inspiration.

Your Chinese for the day:
Hu Yu Hai Ding- We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive.