No Habla Ingles

I had other things I was going to write about today, but they're going to have to take a backseat tonight, because today I went to Shanghai.

Saturday, August 15

7:00am- Alarm goes off. Groan. I only went to bed a few hours ago. Too much Chinese beer. (contrary to my father's beliefs, I'm not becoming an alcoholic. But there just isn't much else to do when you live on Bar Street.)

7:30am- Wake up Garrett, who lives next door. Time for Shanghai. He tells me he had been hoping that I would sleep through the alarm, so that we can skip our trip. I laugh, because he was out even later than me.

8:00am- Garrett and I drag ourselves outside and into a taxi, making our way in early morning Suzhou traffic to the train station.

8:07am- Taxi comes within inches to plowing head-first into a cement roller.

8:25am- Arrive at train station. We had purchased our tickets in advance with the help of our hotel owner, but we still have no idea where to go. We follow the masses of people into a waiting room.

8:26am- I am the only white person (as Garrett is of Chinese decent).

8:55am- The train boards. Lots of Chinese people shoving. Garrett and I bought tickets too late to get seats, so we have to stand. So we sit on the floor of the dining car.

9:15am- A train employee gets mad at Garrett for sleeping on the floor.

9:45am- Arrive in Shanghai. More Chinese people than I've seen in my entire life. We search for Garrett's cousin Chris, who lives in Shanghai. It's kind of like playing 'Where's Waldo' except that Waldo isn't wear red and white stripes, and looks exactly like everyone else.

10:15am- We find Chris.

10:30am-McDonald's for breakfast. There is a Chinese Ronald McDonald. The staff is super concerned about my comfort, pushing people out of the way to get me a good spot in line. They also try to carry my tray to a table for me. Ronald is creeping me out.

11:00am- Chris and Garrett want to go back to sleep. So I tell them to drop me off somewhere fun. They take me to a shopping mall.

11:30am- I wander around the neighborhood. I get a call from Chelsea, a friend of an old friend who has lived in Shanghai for more than a year, and has been super helpful. She invites me to lunch with her and her roommate. I wander around some more.

12:30pm- I arrive at Chelsea's apartment, very impressed with myself, because I was able to tell the driver the address Chelsea had given me without having to show it to him. I come to the realization that from now on, zh will be pronounced j, and x will be s. I am saddened by this.

1:00pm- Chelsea and her roommate take me to a vegetarian Chinese restaurant that was very good. I am impressed with myself for liking a vegetarian restaurant. Even more impressed that there is literally nothing on the menu that I don't like. The only vegetable I can definitively say I dislike is bitter melon, but I'd still eat it anyway.

2:00pm- I bid adieu to the ladies, who have directed me to People's Square, the main tourist center in Puxi Shanghai.

2:05pm- I've found my way into a park. There are literally hundreds of 65+ Chinese people milling about with signs. Fortunately, Chelsea had mentioned this phenomena to me, so I knew what I was looking at. It's a meet-market. Older Chinese parents who still have unmarried children write up profiles of their kids, and put them out, so other parents can try to find a match. They're mostly for men, as there are 109 men to every 100 women here, due of course to the one-child policy. It may not seem like a high ratio, but when you multiply it by a billion, it really is!

And no, I didn't pick one out for myself.

3:00pm- I wander around drinking bubble tea. I throw it out after 3 sips.

3:05pm- Chinese people shout "Hello!" to me a lot. All westerners get it. The annoying ones are those who want to practice their English on you. Not a bad thing, but it can often lead to a scam.

3:20pm- A Chinese man and women in their mid-twenties follow me and keep asking me if I speak English. I ignore them until they tap me on the shoulder. "Do you speak English?" they ask.

3:21pm- I give them a blank stare. "Que?" I ask.

Them: Do you speak Spanish?

Me: Si. Habla Espanol.

Them: Hola!

Me: Ni hao!

Them: Where are you from?

Me: ?

Them: Barcelona? Spain?

Me: Oh! No. Soy de Mexico.

Them: Mexico! Mexico city?

Me: Eh, asi-asi. (Yes, I know this is incorrect).

Them: Are you here for holiday?

Me: ?

Them: Hol-i-day? We are from Tsing Tao. Visit Shanghai.

Me: Ah, si. Hol-i-day, si.

Them: How many days? We are here for 7.

Me: Cinco.

Them: Cinco?

Me: Wu. Five.

This goes on for a while. They start talking about some show in the park, and how it's happening in the afternoon, or something. To be honest I didn't understand what they were saying, as they thought they were speaking to someone who had no idea, so it was kind of a mix of English and Chinese. I just stared blankly and smiled, which seemed to be appropriate.

Them: Do you want to spend the day with us?

Me: Que?

Them: With us. Together.

Me: No (I look at my watch). Mi amigo! Friend!

Them: Oh, ok. Adios!

Me: Nice. To. Meet. You.

There was just something about having Chinese people try to dumb down their English to make me understand that made me really happy, despite the fact that these people seemed nice, and I probably would have like to tour with them a bit. But I couldn't keep up the Spanish act all day.

3:30pm- More shopping malls. SO. MANY CHINESE PEOPLE.

3:31pm- My feet hurt. And no, I do not want to buy a stuffed Haibao, the blue Gumbly-looking mascot of the Shanghai Expo 2010. Stop asking.

4:00pm- I am officially tired of walking around. I am supposed to meet up with Garrett and Chris for the evening. I am too tired to move. I decide I will forgo the 30 kuai I spent on my return ticket for Sunday and try to catch a train home this evening.

4:10pm- On the way to find a taxi, I come across a foot massage shop. That is exactly what I need. Plus they speak English.

4:15pm- Best. Idea. Ever. I practice my Chinese on the man rubbing my feet. Then we exhaust my limited vocabulary. There are only so many times I can ask him what his name is before it gets weird. So we fall into an awkward silence. I stare at the wall because it seems too personal to watch him rub my feet.

5:15pm. I try in vain to hail a cab.

5:45pm. I find one! But it dawns on me that, for the first time ever, I don't have a taxi card to tell the driver where to go. I use my little Chinese book to come up with the term for railway station. I butcher it, but he understands. He starts to ask me a lot of questions. Have I eaten today? I know this is a common greeting, but I can't remember how to answer it, so I say "I don't understand" in Chinese several times, but he does not give up. Finally I say, "Wo bu hui Zhongwen!" (I don't speak Chinese) forcefully enough that he gets it.

6:00pm I enter the ticket station. The time tables are 100% in Chinese. I find the one English line. Train is at 6:55! Score!

6:15pm. I go to Burger King for dinner. I am not proud of the fact that I ate two fast food burgers in one day, but sometimes these things cannot be helped.

6:35pm. I join at least 500 Chinese people in the waiting room for the Suzhou train. I have to pee. The bathroom is also the smokers room. I decided to pass on that opportunity.

I am the only white person. Talk about Where's Waldo.

6:50pm. Gates open to the platform. 500 Chinese people push. And push. And push. To get to their assigned seats. Train is not as crowded as the morning one- I even have a seat, and I purchased my ticket less than an hour in advance.

7:00pm. I pull out my hamburger. I confirm the stereotypical belief that the Chinese have- that Americans only eat hamburgers. I don't care. One can only eat so many dumplings.

7:15pm. Train reaches a speed of 204 km/hr. I believe this to be fast.

7:35pm. Arrive in Suzhou. Home sweet home.

As so here I am. I haven't told anyone, besides Garrett, that I decided to come home, because I need a nice, relaxing night alone. I really enjoyed Shanghai- the food is great, the people are friendly, there is a lot more English spoken, and there is a lot to do. But going there, even for a few hours, made me realize how comfortable I am in Suzhou. After a day of navigating mainly by myself, it was nice to get into the taxi back to the hotel and recognize things as we passed. I wouldn't turn down a great job in Shanghai, but I think I'll stick with Suzhou for the year, if possible :)

Pictures and more updates tomorrow or Monday, I promise.

Hugs,

RDG

I taught your Chinese in the blog entry. Don't get selfish.