我是懒虫

So some interesting things have been happening recently. Part of the reason I write so rarely now is that I guess the small things don't seem so unusual anymore, after nearly 16 months here. But I have a few observations to share.

I've been to 3 Chinese weddings in the last 3 weeks. I'd never been to one before that. I guess Danny, at 27, has hit the age when his peers are getting married.

So a little bit about Chinese marriage, as far as I understand it. There is really no traditional wedding ceremony as we have it, where you say "I do" and "you may now kiss the bride" and all that. A couple goes to their provincial capital and registers to marry. Their wedding announcement is posted for a few months in a government building or something, so that if people object to the union, they can lodge a complaint. And then, like 3 months later, poof, they are married.

But that doesn't mean the Chinese don't want to celebrate. The wedding is a large dinner for all their family, friends and coworkers. There is a ceremony with an MC, where the groom waits on stage for his bride, in a traditional western white wedding dress. They show cheesy slideshows of their photos, toasts are made, and cake is cut. The whole thing lasts about as long as a Western wedding. Then you eat. And eat. And eat. Weddings are expensive, largely because of the food. The first two weddings we went to were both for high school classmates of Danny's, so the food was traditional Suzhou cuisine, including things like crab, duck and turtle. Yes, I can now say I have added turtle to the list of things I've eaten, although I didn't really care for it. It's no bullfrog.

The bride changes her gown no less then 3 times. She and the groom, along with the best man and maid of honor, go from table to table, toasting with everyone. The bride is also supposed to light a cigarette for each man, which means a lot of men stand up on their chairs and do anything to make it difficult for her to succeed. Friends can also force the groom to drink or eat anything they like, which is usually a disgusting combo of whatever sauces are in the dishes, soup, alcohol, juice and wedding cake. But the secret is that the couple only toast from a bottle of wine held by the best man, which is actually filled with juice. Toasting 200 people is enough to make anyone's wedding night unpleasant.

The first wedding was a bit overwhelming, because it was in a massive hotel ballroom with no less than 300 people, and we had to sneak in late. I wasn't expecting much, since the dress code was jeans and sneakers. But it was a proper wedding (actually, looked more like a Bar Mitzvah). I was the only foreigner, but Danny's classmates were lovely and tried to speak to me in English.

The second wedding was for a couple that I had met at the first wedding, Danny's high school deskmate. This wedding was a bit smaller, at a restaurant. Again, I was the only foreigner, but since I'd met most of the people at my table before, it was fine.

The third wedding was a smaller affair for a friend of Danny's from when he worked at a popular Western bar before college. The bride's brother is the owner, and very famous in Suzhou amongst Westerners, so there were a few there. The wedding was fancier than the others but smaller, because neither the bride nor groom is from Suzhou, so the party was really just to celebrate with their friends. I'm acquaintances with the bride's brother's American girlfriend and her mother, so I was a little more comfortable at this one.

I think this will be the last wedding for a little while. Since giving money in red envelopes is the traditional gift, it gets expensive for Danny to accept each and every invite. Which is fine with me- every once in a while is good.
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Thursday is Thanksgiving, and I'm getting in the holiday mood. Last year I was joined by two friends from home who coincidently stopped by Suzhou during Thanksgiving, and we ate at a hotel. But this year I wanted a nice home cooked meal. But being the only American in my group of friends, if I wanted a nice home cooked meal, I must do it myself.

So I am currently planning a Thanksgiving dinner for 16 people, made almost entirely in my toaster oven. But considering our dinner party will consist of 1 Canadian, 6 Chinese, 8 Brits and one lone American, who will care if I mess up? They won't know any better anyway :). Plus, I've ordered a cooked turkey to be delivered in the evening by one of the local restaurants, so how hard can it be? (Ask me again on Friday).

My Chinese lessons are going really well. Today, for example, I learned the very helpful phrase, "lan chong" which means "lazy worm". But in all honesty, both my speaking and reading/writing classes are going really well. I spend a lot of time studying and practicing, and I've grown to not be so incredibly frightened of the language. But of course, as soon as I think I've gotten a handle on the language, I find I know nothing at all!

My favorite thing is learning to read Chinese characters. I find that while it is very difficult for me to remember how to write, I can remember enough to read. I've learned to read quite a few, and sometimes when I'm feeling cocky I will try to read words in a newspaper article. But my skills are basically the equivalent to picking up an English newspaper and being able to pick out words like "the" "and" or "he". But if the article is about buying apples at the shop or exchanging money at the bank, I'm all over it :)

But as usual, help is where you least expect it. In addition to both of my lovely Chinese teachers and my very helpful boyfriend, my best teacher is my gym trainer, Xiong. He actually gets annoyed when I forget to bring my Chinese reading or flashcards to the gym. He quizzes me during our sessions, and for at least 30 minutes after. Nothing like doing sit-ups and being quizzed on Chinese characters at the same time to make your whole body hurt. It's good for him because he learns some new English words, but mostly, he just likes to help.


The rest of my life is normal and nothing special. I will leave you with a few other short things:


1. I have two new students in one class. A little boy called Sunny, and a little girl called...Mr. Black.

2. Danny's grandmother, as a traditional Chinese woman, has been asking us repeatedly when we're going to get married (she had been asking this long before we were actually dating). To satisfy her, Danny lied and told her "within the next 1 or 2 years". She took that to mean the upcoming weekend, and announced it to the entire extended family, which forced Danny and his mother to field angry phone calls from all his relatives asking why no one had told them about his wedding that weekend.

3. You may have noticed that I never comment on the clothing style of the Chinese anymore, which used to be a big source of interest and amusement for me. Had their style improved? Have I gotten used to it? But shopping recently I discovered that the problem is me: my taste has gotten significantly worse being here. Rhinestones? Yes please. Bows? The more the merrier. Cartoon pandas with rhinestones AND bows? Where do I sign up? I literally picked up a black velvet scrunchy with a rhinestone thing on it before my sense kicked in. My new favorite activity is getting my nails done. I don't do the fake ones, but I might as well. My current nail polish? Pink and white with lace pattern and polka-dots. Last week was alternating pink with stars and gold glitter. I might as well work at the gas station.

4. Something very bad has happened. I have rediscovered the awesomeness of internet shopping. The Chinese have a website called Taobao, and it's kind of like a mix between ebay and Amazon.com. I like it because while you can usually talk the seller down a bit on the price, it's more or less set, so I could buy the fake bags and all that other junk knowing I'd get it for the same price as a Chinese customer, which is never the case in the store. Plus, I can get shoes in my size! But because it's all in Chinese and requires banking info I don't have, Danny has to do it for me. The poor guy gets loads of emails from me requesting various items for him to find and buy for me. My list from just the last two weeks: Shoes (with sequins of course), baking chocolate, plastic utensils, a blender, Neutrogena shampoo, and a wooden turkey holding a sign that says "Give Thanks".

5. I feel like I need a 5th thing to round out my list, but it's nearly midnight and I need to get up early tomorrow to begin baking for Thanksgiving. So I will leave you with photos instead.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Miss and love you all!

RDG

I love China